Saturday, September 12, 2009

Dolphins at Falcons: Week One preview

Most think this will be a high scoring game, but neither offense is really in sync yet and the scoreboard will reflect that.

The Dolphins defense will have five or six sacks total and two forced fumbles off those sacks (courtesy of Jason Taylor and Channing Crowder). Matt Ryan will throw two interceptions (Sean Smith is good for one of those, count on it).

Dan Carpenter's leg will be the difference maker; he will go 3 for 3, all from 40+.

The Dolphins’ only touchdown will be a three-yard Ricky Williams run set up by good field position after Matt Ryan turns the ball over inside of his own 30 yard line.

Miami 16.
Atlanta 10.

Not much I want to talk about around the rest of the NFL, but here’s my Lock of the Week: Houston Texans (-4.5) over the New York Jets.

Notre Dame sucks and so do you

Growing up, my favorite college football team was the University of Miami. I went to most of their home games in the Orange Bowl (it was a half an hour from my house) and they were the most consistently dominating team playing the game so it was pretty easy to become a huge fan.

Eventually, I went to (and many years later finally graduated from) the University of Colorado at Boulder*. The ‘Canes and the Buffs very rarely play each other, so I’m mercifully spared from choosing sides. The tie would go to CU, but it helps knowing that Miami would always kick their ass.

My third favorite? Well, that’s reserved for whichever team is playing Notre Dame. Yup, I’m an Irish Catholic and I hate the shit out of Notre Dame. (And I hate ABC for force-feeding me their games versus Navy instead of giving me ranked match-ups.)

Notre Dame is playing Michigan right now and I could give two shits. Yeah, every catholic in America roots for the Fighting Irish but they also drink the blood of their savior every Sunday. They aren’t to be trusted.

ABC inexplicably renews their broadcast deals with those non-conference nancy-boys regardless of performance or schedule. Actually, the Disney/ABC/ESPN mega-empire may be smarter than I originally thought. If you were a network and you had to pick your pony, why not affiliate yourself with the team whose fan base considers birth control to be a mortal sin? Even if the team sucks, the fans are will procreate so much that your base will never dry up. I see what you did there, Mickey Mouse.

Notre Dame, like USC, Michigan, and Florida, get so much media hype that almost every one of their NFL potentials gets drafted two rounds too early and ends up disappointing.

Who is the best current NFL player to graduate from Notre Dame?

Brady Quinn? Um, no, he hasn’t done shit yet (and I wager he never will).

Julius Jones? Nope, he sucks. He can’t stay healthy.

David Givens? He got his ring, but was only above average.

Ryan Grant? A solid starter, but he will never be a top ten back.

Justin Tuck? He’s good, and one of two current alumni with a Pro Bowl berth, but that pretty much is the result of playing on an already excellent New York Giants defense.

Give up? It’s Craig Hentrich. The punter for the Tennessee Titans. Yup, Notre Dame’s most prolific NFLer kicks the ball five times a game. Compare that to Miami or Florida State or OSU, all of which have great players all across the NFL at almost every position.

Notre Dame has no business being ranked after beating Nevada. Their QB1 Jimmy Clausen is no doubt going to be drafted a round or two sooner than he should. And I’ll say it—it’s going to happen because he’s white and he’s on ABC every Saturday.

Fuck the Fighting Irish, fuck the media, and fuck Charlie Weis.

P.S. – Michigan sucks too

* -- Colorado was humiliated and destroyed by the Toledo (Mud Hens?) last night. We shall never speak of it again.