Showing posts with label HBO. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HBO. Show all posts

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Context is for Pussies

Gin and Tonic Salvation
I woke up on a co-workers couch at about nine this morning, still a little buzzed from the Bud Lights and gin cocktails we drank until dawn.

(Drinking with two of my co-workers last night was a pretty good time. Both are struggling actors from the mid-West with a very genuine enthusiasm for their craft. Their optimism and persistence is rather infectious, actually.)

I came home, took a nap in my bright yellow work shirt, and didn’t’ wake up again until about two this afternoon. After bumming around on the computer for an hour or two, I walked to the Lady Friend’s house to feed her cat and ended up watching Terminator Salvation on HBO. Meh. It was as unmemorable as any movie I’ve seen this summer. (It’s telling that my favorite part was when some characters listened to Alice in Chains for about twelve seconds.)

Now I’m home, bumming around again. I’ll spend the rest of the evening pretending to try and write and probably end up finishing season one of the X-Files instead.

I can’t leave you without first quoting a vague or obscure passage from canonical literature I haven’t read. (Another lazy Sunday, another new tradition.)

This week, we look to the oval-faced Herman Melville for an excerpt from his other famous work, Billy Bud:


“At the penultimate moment, his words, his only ones, words wholly unobstructed in the utterance were these — ‘God bless Captain Vere!’”


Yeah, let that marinate in your brain for awhile.

Monday, October 6, 2008

God Hates Fangs



If you're lucky enough to have a copy of my “Coolest Things, Ever” list, you probably already know several things about me.

First, I use commas way too frequently. I even embed them in the titles of my lists. I can’t help it. Punctuation is like ketchup: it makes everything taste better... and you can always do to add more... and they're both high in sodium.

Second, my interests are varied and unquestionably marvelous (But you don't have to take Run DMC's word for it). Here are a few items that cracked my Top 250:

246. Isaac the bartender from “The Love Boat”

187. Medieval war machines

112. Steven Seagal

106. Funny talking Southerners who live near swamps

86. Black holes

73. The movie Roadhouse

52. Evil blood-sucking vampires

34. Flagrantly homosexual black dudes

31. Any HBO television series

19. Anna Paquin

4. Misunderstood “heart of gold” vampires

2. Boobies

I know what you’re thinking: “Good call, boobies rule.” Yeah, they do.

I know what else you’re thinking: “Wait, 86% of that list can be found on that new fall show ‘True Blood,’ why hasn’t Lumpy reviewed it yet?”

Good question, loyal readers. The new HBO show “True Blood” does incorporate many of the coolest things in my universe. And yes, I have been watching it regularly. So what’s the verdict? Meh.

I’ll wait until the end of the first season to give it a proper review, but so far I'm sticking with “meh.” It’s disappointing. Almost tragic when compared to the fucking bad-ass opening credit sequence that begins every episode.

See for yourself: