Friday, September 10, 2010

Six Idiotically Bold Predictions for the Upcoming NFL Season

Andre Johnson and Matt Schaub discuss politics, philosophy

We're only hours away from another exciting NFL season. Can you feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins?

(What's that you say, there was a game last night? Nonsense, the NFL would never schedule a game on a Thursday. Don't be silly. And don't ever start Percy Harvin on your fantasy team. One catch for 12 yards. Geez.)

A new NFL season also means a new litany of idiotically bold predictions. So let's get that nonsense out of the way before we dive into discussing the Week One particulars, shall we?

IBP #1: Tom Brady stays healthy all year and the New England Patriots don't win the AFC East. It'll be a coin toss between the J-E-T-S and the Miami Dolphins, may the fattest coach prevail!

IBP #2: The Minnesota Vikings don't make it to the post-season. And with that, Zombie Favre is finally vanquished once and for all.

IBP #3: The Kansas City Chiefs win the AFC West, thanks to SS Eric Berry (a.k.a. your 2010 Rookie-of-the-Year) who will draw more than a few Ed Reed comparisons.

IBP #4: Tony Romo and the mighty Dallas Cowmen actually find a bit of playoff success before getting destroyed in the NFC title match.

IBP #5: The Houston Texans make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. Okay, that isn't bold. What if I told you the Schaub-Johnson Express takes them all the way to the AFC Championship game before derailing? Is that bold enough for you?

IBP #6: Aaron Rodgers throws four touchdowns passes against the Tennessee Titans in Super Bowl XLV. The Packers win and Rodgers is the SB MVP. Chris Johnson doesn't lose sleep, though, because he earns an MVP trophy of his own (e.g. the regular season one).

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