If you're lucky enough to have a copy of my “Coolest Things, Ever” list, you probably already know several things about me.
First, I use commas way too frequently. I even embed them in the titles of my lists. I can’t help it. Punctuation is like ketchup: it makes everything taste better... and you can always do to add more... and they're both high in sodium.
Second, my interests are varied and unquestionably marvelous (But you don't have to take Run DMC's word for it). Here are a few items that cracked my Top 250:
246. Isaac the bartender from “The Love Boat”
187. Medieval war machines
112. Steven Seagal
106. Funny talking Southerners who live near swamps
86. Black holes
73. The movie Roadhouse
52. Evil blood-sucking vampires
34. Flagrantly homosexual black dudes
31. Any HBO television series
19. Anna Paquin
4. Misunderstood “heart of gold” vampires
2. Boobies
I know what you’re thinking: “Good call, boobies rule.” Yeah, they do.
I know what else you’re thinking: “Wait, 86% of that list can be found on that new fall show ‘True Blood,’ why hasn’t Lumpy reviewed it yet?”
Good question, loyal readers. The new HBO show “True Blood” does incorporate many of the coolest things in my universe. And yes, I have been watching it regularly. So what’s the verdict? Meh.
I’ll wait until the end of the first season to give it a proper review, but so far I'm sticking with “meh.” It’s disappointing. Almost tragic when compared to the fucking bad-ass opening credit sequence that begins every episode.
See for yourself:
No comments:
Post a Comment