A Boy and His Dog (L.Q. Jones, 1975) was described to me, first and foremost, as a cult film. What exactly does that term mean?
In lieu of research, I’ll refer to Wikipedia’s entry (as of July 14, 2010): Cult films have “a highly devoted but specific group of fans” but “fail to achieve fame outside a small fan base.” Meh. Other equally unsatisfying explanations exist here and here.
It may be more helpful to consider what a cult film is not. A cult film is not good. Not really. Not immediately, anyway. At least so far as traditional metrics are concerned (box office receipts, critical appraisal, etc.) Otherwise it would simply be another successful film.
Cult films are disliked or disregarded by most audiences but venerated by a passionate minority, by a few fringe dwellers eager to embrace those bizarre bits of celluloid residing upon the periphery of human experience.
stolen from The Internet
I wish I were reviewing the 1989 NES game A Boy and His Blob: Trouble on Blobolonia instead.
I wasn’t alive in 1975, but I can’t imagine any widespread celebration of A Boy and His Dog’s cinematic achievements. Yet, it does possess an endearing weirdness. By Wikipedia’s standards, at least, it should enjoy cult legitimacy.
Is that any sort of compliment, though? Is A Boy and His Dog a great film? Is it even a good one? Do I recommend watching it?
The answers to these questions are unimportant because, face it, you only rented the movie so you could cross it off your list of unseen cult classics (but, if you must have them, my responses are “I don’t know,” “No,” “I guess,” and “Absolutely!”).
And I’m not here to pass judgment. I only rented the flick because (1) it stars Don Johnson and (2) the poster features a giant mushroom cloud and the tagline “a rather kinky tale of survival.” Yet, by Netflix’s estimation (Netflix absolutely sucks now, by the way), A Boy and His Dog has been collecting dust on my desk for well over six months. The apocalypse, The Don, and boobs—why shelve this DVD for so long?
(End digression.)
You might preemptively deduce what A Boy and His Dog is about. Vic (Don Johnson) is our titular boy and Blood is his faithful mutt companion—but, be warned, this isn’t a precursor to Free Willy. The story is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland of 2024, sometime after a very nuclear World War IV which has destroyed most of humanity.
Blood is a genetically enhanced super-pooch, partial to popcorn and quoting Henry V. He uses telepathy to communicate with Vic, to teach him much about politics and little about ethics. Blood also tracks other survivors. This nicely compliments Vic’s only clear hobbies: marauding and rape.
A Boy and His Dog is essentially a two act film with a punch line tacked on for an epilogue.
The first act is the companion piece I anticipated peppered with the occasional subversive twist. Vic and Blood march from one desert alcove to the next. Blood provides Vic with wisdom and intel, Vic helps Blood find dinner– they are quite possibly the world’s last and strangest symbiotic pairing.
Sweet, the feature film adaptation of Fallout 3 starring Benji and a young Nash Bridges!
Eventually the duo stumbles upon a naked woman—and why shouldn’t they? The poster promised kink, after all. Vic’s attempts to rape the beautifully inexpressive Quilla (Susanne Benton) are delayed as the two hide from a nearby pack of mutants and then later foiled completely when she consents to give him what he was so set on forcefully taking.
The film switches gears as Vic abandons his dog in order to travel down Quilla’s mysterious rabbit hole (as it were)and into the town of Topeka, a sort of radioactive antithesis to Grover’s Corners.
Naturally, Quilla has her own angle. Topeka’s “city council” apprehends Vic upon arrival. (Rage!) And forces him to impregnate the settlement’s fertile young bachelorettes. (Everything went better than expected.) But the insemination will be an artificial one, and the ejaculate will be extracted through a catheter. (Rage, again!) I enjoyed this second act much less.
It's like Our Town without the Milk Man.
The film climaxes with Quilla and Vic escaping Topeka and returning to the surface. These sequences aren’t particularly thrilling and likely they weren’t meant to be.
By the film’s end, Vic is no longer a boy but a man. And in the final scenes Vic chooses between man’s best friend and his yearning for a different sort of companionship… but I’m getting ahead of myself, and certainly ahead of you. The finale is truly clever and I won’t spoil it for you.
While the wooden acting and shoddy production values cannot be overlooked, A Boy and His Dog combines a peculiar premise with some witty wordplay and the resultant is far from terrible. Not too far from terrible, though—this is a cult film you know.
*Donnie Wayne “Don” Johnson kicks an undeniably awesome amount of ass. From his portrayal of the Marlboro Man to a convincingly dickish pro golfer (in the most underrated golf movie of all time), he rarely disappoints. His raison d'être, of course, is Detective James "Sonny" Crockett from Miami Vice. If you didn’t already know this, turn off your computer and go join the fucking world already.
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