It’s an unfathomably interesting time to be a Miami Heat fan, especially considering how comparatively dreadful they've been these past few seasons. It's been a downward spiral since closing out Dallas in 2006.
Until now, these were the team’s three best moments since that victory parade a few years back:
3) Wade’s double-overtime, three-point buzzer beater when the Heat hosted the Bulls back in March of 2009.
2) "Winning" the second pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, thanks to a league worst 15-67 record.
1) Using that pick to draft Michael Beasley, an undersized power forward who ended up averaging 14.9 points and 5.9 rebounds per game over the course of his two seasons with the Miami Heat.
All but one of them occurred in the off-season and even the lone exception was merely a regular season victory that was ultimately insignificant. It’s been a really long time since the Heat accomplished anything important on the court. (Wade’s spectacular strip, steal, and game-winning running three were phenomenal, though, watch it again and pay close attention to Brad Miller’s precious reaction shot.)
The franchise was hurting in a pretty bad way as recently as only a month ago; thankfully, Heat fans, God has a condo in South Beach.
Unless you’re living under a coconut on a deserted island, you already know that the roster has undergone some unprecedented changes. And if you are living under that coconut, I applaud your wireless network provider for getting you to my website.
You can skip straight down to my bold predictions but first you probably want to read a recap of the Heat's more noteworthy transactions these past few months.
KEY LOSSES:
Michael Beasley is traded to Timberwolves. Look, I liked Beasley. I liked him a lot. And I hated how certain South Florida reporters whose names I won't utter bastardized him at every opportunity.
I certainly hope he develops into an All-Star type talent. Even if he does, I'd still trade him in a heartbeat to secure the Heat's current lineup. Yeah, we could have kept him instead of Miller but clearly that wasn't what Wade and Co. wanted. Oh well, I wish you luck in Minnesota. Too bad new GM David Kahn is already rehashing old dirt.
Jermaine O'Neal (and his three-inch vertical leap) sign with Celtics. Take your money and get the hell out, JO. You were terrible for us when it counted. If memory serves me correctly, you shot about 8% from the field in the playoffs and you never even knocked out any Pistons fans. I hope you make Boston worse (and I gleefully suspect you will).
KEY RETENTIONS:
Dwyane Wade re-signs with Heat. This is still the best news of the off-season for Heat fans. Thankfully, we won’t have to endure another season of Tito’s for back-up.
Dwyane Wade re-signs with Heat. It sounded so nice I had to type it twice. We're all so grateful he came back.
Udonis Haslem re-signs with Heat. He is not as talented as Beasley and I never liked how the past few seasons played out. Haslem got too many undeserved minutes in crunch time and I don’t think the numbers show him to be nearly as clutch as most of his supporters would argue (both in the Playoffs and in fourth quarters). I don’t even like the way he rebounds.
Still, I’m glad the Heat the heat resigned him and I will support him. He is not a bad person; in fact, he had other (possibly more lucrative) offers on the table and he chose to stay as a sixth man right here in the city he loves.
He also adds much to the team. Unlike any of the new additions, Haslem has a ring on his finger. He may not wow the new stars with his moves, but he can show them how to stay poised under pressure. And he really will be a pretty good sixth man.
KEY ADDITIONS:
LeBron James added in a sign-and-trade with Cavaliers. Let’s start with the ugly.
“The Decision” was a mockery of sports in general and the NBA in particular; it forever tarnished the reputations of Michael Wilbon and Jim Gray as news reporters and flatly destroyed ESPN’s hopes of being seen as a source of information rather than a product of consumption; it was an affront to the intelligence of fans everywhere and a dagger in the backs of any hopefully naive Ohioans*. It should have never happened and hopefully the agents, publicists, and better angels of tomorrow’s mega-stars will learn from James’ mistake and never, ever repeat it.
Forget all that though. James signed with Miami, WOO-HOO! Who gives a shit how he got here or why he did it? The Heat just became the most exciting NBA team to watch in my lifetime! And they may even win a few championships in the process...
stolen from The Internet
Is one of these old ladies Delonte West's grandmother?
Chris Bosh added in a sign-and trade with Raptors. I’ll be honest, I haven’t watched Bosh play much outside of the Olympics and the occasional Sports Center highlight. I know he’s good, I don’t know if he’s great. If there is any chance he can become great, however, it'll happen on this team. I’m really curious to see how his game play evolves.
Mike Miller is signed from Wizards. He will shoot 400% from three point range this season. I mean it. He is going to be so wide-open from behind the arc that each he jacks up the ball it’s going to go in four times. I don’t even know what that means but it's true.
All these moves are a few weeks old and the rest of the Heat roster is filling out rather quickly. It'll be interesting watching the point guard situation unfold; will James start at the one or will Erik Spoelstra stick with the likes of Mario Chalmers and Carlos Arroyo? Other than that, all the Heat really need are some warm bodies. And plenty of them will play for the veteran minimum if it means one last shot at a title.
CONCLUSIONS:
The Heat are immensely talented on paper, no one will deny that. But they will be under an unheard of amount of pressure from both critics and scorned fans. I think those off-court distractions will dissolve away with the tip-off of the opening game. And that's why opening day just cannot come quickly enough for Heat players and fans.
Now here are this season's idiotically bold predictions:
(Don't say you weren’t warned.)
#1 - If the "core four" stays healthy, the Miami Heat will win this coming NBA Championship and they will do rather easily. Okay, maybe the first one isn't that much of a stretch.
#2 - If healthy, the Heat will also surpass the Chicago Bulls single season record of 72 wins. I'm thinking 75 wins and only seven (very publicized) losses.
#3 - If healthy, the Miami Heat will sweep the entire post-season. Every series, including the NBA Finals. Yes, I realize no team has ever done that. But this Heat team, if healthy and focused, is absolutely that much more talented than every other squad in the league.
#4 - The Heat will stay focused for every game during the regular season. At least for the first year. LeBron has too much riding on this “decision” to let up for a single game. He and Wade won’t allow his teammates to let up either.
The only big “if” here is the health of the key players.
If that prediction isn’t bold enough for you, here’s one more:
#5 - The Heat can withstand any single injury and still win the 2011 NBA Championship. If either James or Wade goes down with a season ending injury (God forbid), the Miami Heat will still win the NBA Championship.
Here’s the thing, a core of Wade, Bosh, and Miller, or James, Bosh, and Miller can still win it all.
The more favorable of those two really unfavorable scenarios is the one with a healthy Wade. He won it all before and he did it with less help. (Shaq circa 2006 and the rest of that unit was less talented than Bosh, Miller, etc.) The league is better than it was in 2006 but, well, so is Wade.
An injury to Wade would be the most devastating though still not necessarily crippling. I’m convinced that James might finally find that extra gear with Bosh and Miller to back him up. He would lead the Heat, as underdogs, through the playoffs and I suspect he would excel.
And what if someone other than James or Wade were to succumb to injury? No sweat. If Bosh, Miller, or one of the Titos goes down, Wade and James would still be the (fairly heavy) favorites with whatever table scraps they have left to work with.
I realize I’m putting out some really frightful ideas into the Universe; all this premature injury talk is like talking about a perfect game in the top of the sixth inning. I'm going to knock on some wood (for the next five hours straight).
Don’t forget to comment, especially if you’re one of those cry-babies from Cleveland (it’s a second-rate Hellmouth).
Until next time, Heat fans...
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NOTES:
*By the way, Cleveland, you fucking deserved "The Decision." Ohio State stole the 2003 Fiesa Bowl from the Miami Hurricanes. They cheated to win and now the whole region will deservedly suffer. Karma is a motherfucker.
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